Category Archives: Lessons from my Youth

22 Years of Missing my Dad on Father’s Day

Happy Father’s Day to you Dad’s out there!

This is a picture of my Father and Mother in 1948.  They were divorced in 1976.  I didn’t know my Father all that well (except that he was color-blind), and I don’t recall many happy times when they were married.  But my parents separation was devastating to my Father as illustrated in the words of a letter he wrote to me when I was merely 12 years old at Christmas in 1975….

“Jackie I want you to know how very sorry I am for the many things that I have done to cause this separation in our family.  Many times in our lives we realize our own mistakes only after it is too late.  This is a very terrible and heart breaking thing to have to live with the rest of your life…..I truly love your mother, and I would do anything, or give anything to have her back again.”

Both of my parents remarried.  This is my Father and step-Mother with me and my husband, Arny on our wedding day in 1982. 

I would like very much to be forgiven and loved again by everyone, and especially you,”  my Father wrote me in that letter in 1975.  I never felt that there was anything to forgive my Father for. 

A few years after our wedding, Arny and I bought a home less than a mile away from Daddy and Liz.   I finally had opportunity to know my Dad better.  Liz had three young boys, whom Daddy had adopted, and they were a fun addition to the family.  My family was multiplying, too with the addition of my two children, Holly and Cory.

On Father’s Day of 1990, Arny, Holly, Cory and I took a cake over to my Dad’s house.  There was no answer at the door, which was unusual because my Dad was almost always home when he wasn’t working.  Rather than leave the cake, we decided to come back later that night.   We got side-tracked with other things, and didn’t make it back over to their house.

Two days later, my Father died suddenly of a heart attack.  Regret had set in hard.  My Father’s words haunted me..”this is a very terrible and heart breaking thing to have to live with the rest of your life…..

I read a poem at Daddy’s funeral on June 25th, 1990.  I was a little embarrassed then because it seemed so child-like.  But perhaps we wax child-like when we lose a parent.  Here are my words:

He Was My Daddy

He was my Daddy; a simple man
Who’d watch TV with remote in hand
He’d watch Hee Haw, sports and news
But he couldn’t tell his browns from his blues
He was color-blind; and he always said
That his favorite color was “strip-ed”

You could count on Daddy to tell a good joke
And he always drank Pepsi instead of Coke
Daddy worked hard, and NO ONE could say
That he’d cheated his boss of an honest pay
He’d always been quiet and shy from the start
But he cared for others.  Daddy had a soft heart

He lived the Gospel.  He knew it was right
And he was home with his family every night
Daddy was never too tired, or had too much to do
When you needed his help, he’d see it through
He was very proud of his daughters and sons
Daddy had raised two families instead of one

Now, he wasn’t rich, nor held a degree
But he was the very best dad he could be
He’d never run for office, nor marched for a cause
But he’d never been arrested, nor broken a law
He’d never been to Europe or taken a cruise
But he taught his family the right things to choose

Daddy wasn’t honored or revered by men
But I think he’d live the same life again
He served mankind, as he served the Lord
Daddy endured to the end, and kept God’s word
He lived life worthy; he’s passed his test
Heavenly Father will tell him, “You’ve done your best”

He’s living now on a heavenly plane
We will be with him if we live life the same
It will be joyous; we’ll all be so glad
When we see again our wonderful Dad!

“I hope that we can both try to live our lives here on earth so that we can be together in the here-after”.

I’m trying, Daddy…..I’m trying….Happy Father’s Day!

HR Thursday: Dress for the Weather

If you want to avoid the nightmare of harassment claims in your business, then you must DRESS FOR THE WEATHER! 

Watch this VIDEO to understand what I mean…

PREVENTION, STEP 1:  Provide written policy and regular communication. 

A well-written harassment policy should do the following:

  • Define what constitutes harassment (you learned that on this very blog a few weeks ago)

  • Explicitly state that “harassment of any kind will not be tolerated

  • Outline reporting channels and methods, and insist employees report any harassment concern

  • Assure employees that a complaint will be treated as confidentially as possible

  • Notify staff that investigations will be initiated upon receiving a complaint to determine its validity

  • Inform staff that appropriate disciplinary action, which may include discharge, will be taken against any guilty offenders

This policy should be:

  1.  Included in your policy manual

  2. Covered in orientation programs for new hires

  3. Redistributed at least annually for continued emphasis

  4. Referenced during antiharassment training programs (at a minimum)

Taking these steps will ensure that all employees know or should know the policy and procedure at your business.  Don’t just issue the policy once and never revisit it.  Ongoing communication is vital, and may possibly save you a lot of money!

Have you ever paid the price for NOT being prepared?

All of the facts and stats on todays post are taken from a 2010 article in Dental Economics by Tim Twigg and Rebecca Crane of  Bent Ericksen & Associates 

Urine, rocks and ruts. What could this post possibly be about?

I went to camp 5 of these 100 years as a youth, and then at least 3 more as an adult!

When I saw this, I realized that most of the important knowledge I have about leadership was developed while I attended Camp Lo Mia in Arizona as a youth. Here’s just 3 lessons learned:

1. You have to take in as much, or more than you put out.

Seriously? Pee in my water bottle?

We can get mentally and emotionally dehydrated if we over-extend ourselves.  To ensure there’s enough knowledge, energy and creativity to withdraw from our leadership account, we must make deposits regularly.

2. Challenges are more enjoyable when you take time to rock-hop.

Rock-hopping? What’s that?

To achieve your goals, you have to find a little time for enjoyment.  Success comes, and leadership is developed during the process of the challenge–not at the moment of it’s completion.

3. Bumps can be blessings in disguise.

Don’t avoid the bumps, they may be blessings….

We are trained to think that bumps and ruts in the road of our leadership journey are obstacles to be avoided.  However, when we least expect it, those bumps are often our greatest blessings.

Attending girls camp every summer as a youth not only taught me how to build fires, administer first aid, cook over an open flame, tie knots and navigate by the sun and stars; it taught me true leadership principles that still apply today!