Category Archives: Choices

Hitchhikers, Healing, and Hosts

A few years ago my dog was dying from cancer. A pet owner is, at some point, faced with the task of making a difficult decision for their beloved companion; and I was face to face with this decision a second time in a 6-month period.

I was struggling daily with the question, “Is she ready to go?”

Life Mastery Radio host, Todd Alan, knew my struggle and turned me on to a guest he’d had on his show – a Shamanic Healer. I was skeptical at first about whether talking with such a person could really help me and my dog, Bandi; but more than that, I was searching for an answer I wasn’t finding.

I talked with Rose De Dan, and it changed everything. Skepticism quickly turned spiritual as I witnessed Bandi physically helped out of pain while I was on the phone with Rose. I talked with Bandi – actually communicated with her through the Shaman; and Bandi’s last days with us were extraordinarily better than they would have been had I not known her desire to keep living.

The May 7th guest on Life Mastery Radio (which I now cohost) was Ellie Pechet M.Ed., a Metaphysician, Shaman, Medium and developer of the Pechet Healing Technique. I was delighted to learn the same help Bandi received from a Shaman was available to ME!

I read a great deal of Ms. Pechet’s book, Hitching a Ride: A Guide to Earthbound Spirits and How They Affect You before the show. I enjoyed the many intriguing and inspiring stories found therein.

Ellie described her gift(s) as a gradual unfolding over time at the right times. She was trained in counseling, then energy healing; and later discovered her gifts as a Medium and Shaman.

“My abilities started coming in as memories”

Ellie’s main branches of work include:

  1. Removing harmful energies in her clients
  2. Healing core issues in her clients

Just as a hitchhiker thumbs for a ride from a stranger on the side of the road; a hitchhiker in Ellie’s world is a spirit who’s gotten stuck after death, and has missed the opportunity to go toward the light where their soul will continue its progress.

“These hitchhikers no longer have a physical vessel, but they have the same personalities and preferences they did in life. They may want to hang out with someone who is like them, or who happens to be in the same place they are during their transition from life to death (such as a hospital), especially if their death was sudden or tragic.”

Most often, the person who’s picked up the hitchhiker doesn’t even know it. Yet, there can be physical, mental, and emotional changes in the host, which he or she can’t explain. They may notice a change in personality; they may pick up new habits; or desire something they didn’t like before.

If the hitchhiker decides they want to have experiences like they did when they had a physical body, they may possess the host and wreak physical damage, such as depression, chronic illnesses, or addictions.

Ellie Pechet’s role is to help the hitchhiker willingly leave the host, and travel toward the light. Then she helps the host to recover, heal, and empower their natural energies to prevent another hitchhiker.

“I am a divine escort to help the hitchhiker get unstuck. My work in that regard is short-term, then I work with the host on his/her energies, and heal core issues.”

Recently, Ellie has begun telepathically communicating with African Elephants to heal their PTSD from poacher attacks. Whales and Sea Turtles have told Ellie they are full of plastic. She wants to heal them, and is on a campaign to reduce plastics, clean the oceans, and make boaters more aware of their threat to animals in the sea.

Ellie wants to talk with you, too. She will provide real results to real issues. Call her at 508-237-4929 or make an appointment online at www.PhoenixRisingHealing.com

They are Always There

Linda Deir Book“They are always there.”

I am a co-host on Life Mastery Radio with Todd Alan. Our guest on April 30th was Linda Deir. She encouraged us to to begin journaling. Therefore this post will be in the form of a journal. Thanks for indulging me.

Sunday, April 28:

I began to read the book “Guided: Her Spirit Guide Angels Were Her Best Friends and Life Coaches” by Linda Deir, our guest on Life Mastery Radio this week.

From the introduction I was hooked. The author and I have so much in common related to our childhood experiences, I found it difficult to put the book down. Her memories reach as far back as 20 months old, when she began to know her Spirit Guides.

Her Guides told her, “For you, life will get better as you get older if you make it through childhood.”

Life was rough for Linda Deir at the time because she was being abused by her mother, and knew her mother didn’t love her. Linda’s Angel Guides’ advice was similar to what I’d always told myself during my abusive childhood: “If I make it out of this alive, I will be stronger than I can ever imagine.”

Reading the rest of her story is something I look forward to.

Monday, April 29:

I continued to read Linda Deir’s book as often as I could catch a few minutes. I even read it while my students took a quiz in class today, and each time I stopped at a red light while driving. Her story, and her ability to overcome such a harsh home life is familiar to me. Her Guides were so obviously there for her. Was I missing something?

I often feel as though my struggles are constant, and the guidance I seek is without reach. Why can’t I seem to get clear answers? Why do I often seem to be gliding along, trying this and trying that, but not really seeing a reason for it?

I would have read all night to finish Linda Deir’s book, but I can’t seem to stay awake.

Tuesday, April 30:

I read more of Linda Dier’s book at breakfast, and even while exercising. I tuned in to the show excited to talk with her in person. I was taken aback by the connection we made through similar life experiences, and by her advice and guidance.

Linda generalized her life as “Childhood Bootcamp” – merely a training to get her in shape for the rest of her life; and learning the skills she’d need to be a survivor. She talked about her Guides using the following descriptive phrases:

  • “They are always there.”
  • “They don’t dwell on the past.”
  • “They guide you through the present.”
  • “They are always with you.”
  • “If a connection is broken with your Guides, it’s because we have broken the connection.”
  • “Guidance is an intelligence.”
  • “People who have good memories have a connection to their Guides.”
  • “Journaling helps you begin to see how your Guides infiltrate your writing.”

Because journaling has become a strong tool for Linda Deir to keep in constant connection with her Guides, she has published a journal companion to her book as a system of regaining connection with our own Guides.

15 minutes

Linda’s Guides told her:

“Journal 15 minutes a day without distractions for one month. Write down what’s going on in your life; make note of your dreams; what people said to you that day; thoughts you had in the shower and/or while driving.”

The promise from Linda’s Guides:

“If you journal for one month chronologically, you’ll know what Linda knows, and you’ll be able to SEE IT – the guidance. When you tie your words together, you’ll see the richness of what your Guides are telling you.”

  • Write it down
  • Note how it felt
  • State what you learned
  • Commit to taking action

“All intuition has a shelf life. The action may be something you can only imagine taking. Unless you write it down, you won’t capture it.”

Linda Deir was raised by Spirit Guides. She was living a covert childhood. She let family believe they were raising her, but it was her Guides who were helping her to learn. Angels were taking care of her.

“We are assigned amnesia when we get here. We unlearn what we knew only to have to learn it again. We have to labor, rediscover, and learn. We all signed up for this. Guides will help you see that life makes sense. They will influence you.”

I’m going to www.lindadeir.com and purchase her companion journals!

A Cure for Emotional Malignancy

Watch the video above before reading further….


“The mind does not act only through conscious choices…many of its effects are achieved directly on the body’s tissues, without any awareness on our part.”

This is a quote from Dr. Bernie Siegel’s book Love, Medicine & Miracles. In reading his book a second time (I first read it while going through therapy for childhood sexual abuse), I find his suggestions, ideas and research have a lot of merit. I believe my own mother developed Alzheimer’s in the same way that his book suggests many people develop cancer.

“One of the most widely accepted explanations of cancer theory states that cancer cells are developing in our bodies all the time but are normally destroyed by white blood cells before they develop into dangerous tumors. Cancer appears when the immune system becomes suppressed and can no longer deal with the routine threat. It follows that whatever upsets the brain’s control of the immune system will foster malignancy.” ~ Bernie Siegel, MD Love, Medicine & Miracles

It is my belief that malignancy does not have to be cancerous. We cause malignancy of mind and wellness when we refuse to forgive and harbor anger or hatred. When we see ourselves as victims of circumstance rather than searching for ways to be victorious over our circumstances, we develop malignancies of character. We don’t empower ourselves, but actually undermine our God-given power.

“The body responds to the mind’s messages…these may be either ‘live’ or ‘die’ messages.” Besides the fight-or flight response, we also have a “die” mechanism that brings us closer to death when we feel our life is not worth living. ~ Bernie Siegel, MD Love, Medicine & Miracles

My mother is 87 years old. She has lived a life of sadness, fear, and heartbreak. That alone does not cause malignancy. It is holding onto the sadness, fear and heartbreak that cause, first our mind to be depressed, then our physical body to take hold of a “die” mentality. I’ve seen it! I’ve lived with my mother, and I witnessed rare times when she escaped her challenges and focused instead on helping someone else with their challenges.

Perhaps the only way my mother had to escape the regrets in her life was to forget. Why wouldn’t anyone with the same experiences want to forget? There have certainly been times in my life when I wished for emotional Alzheimer’s. How wonderful it would have been to forget all the hurt and pain.

I realize all of us live through tough times, but the difference between my mother and me is that I have learned to forgive and let go of the sadness, fear and heartbreak. I don’t want to forget it, because every experience has shaped my character, and I am confident that my influence has been of worth to others.

Not everyone who suffers a tragic loss, stressful change in lifestyle, is abused as a child, or experiences sadness, fear and heartbreak will develop an illness. The deciding factor seems to be how one copes with the problems they are seemingly powerless to escape from.

“Depression is a partial surrender to death, and it seems that cancer is despair experienced at the cellular level.” – Arnold Hutschnecker The Will to Live

I worked for years to overcome the hatred I felt for my abusers; the hatred I had for myself; and the desire to die so I didn’t have to deal with it. It hasn’t been easy, but as I included supportive people in my healing, it allowed me to let go of it and face it, all at the same time. My mother was never able to do that, and therefore her mind did it for her. If you watched the video associated with this post, you know that she no longer remembers me, nor most of her family. It’s sad, very sad. The saddest part of all is that I truly believe she could have prevented it. In other words, our state of mind has an immediate and direct effect on our state of body. If we ignore our despair, the body receives a “die” message. If we deal with our pain and seek help, then the message is “living is difficult but desirable” and the immune system works to keep us alive.

Self-healing comes from the ability to love self. It comes through SELF centered-ness, SELF-ishness, and SELF reliance. SELF is the acronym I use in my book for the characteristics of exceptional leadership.

  • SACRIFICE
  • EMPOWERMENT
  • LOVE
  • FRIENDSHIP

When these traits are mastered, we have healed our minds, our hearts, and our bodies. We don’t have to worry about emotional malignancies, and we can lead others for good through our influence and intentions.

2016-10-13-seeing-mother

I’m so grateful I saw my mother when I did. Even though she did not know me (but for a moment) I’m not sad for her. I’m not sad for me. She is happy. My mother is the happiest I have ever seen her. Her memories, experiences, and personality traits may be gone. Yet, so are her regrets, pain, and fear. She needed Alzheimer’s disease.

Have you learned to forgive and let go of the sadness, fear and heartbreak? Instead of trying to forget, just forgive. Every experience you’ve had will shape your character, and your influence for good will be of worth to others.

Interested in reading my book? It’s on AMAZON. When you purchase through this link, part of the proceeds will go to ORAL CANCER CAUSE to fight malignant cancers of the mouth and throat.

SELF Centered Leadership: Becoming Influential, Intentional and Exceptional

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Payroll, Paychecks, and People: Jessica’s Story

Medical office

Jessica had worked temporarily for Dr. Bean two weeks, and had two more weeks until her work order was completed. The permanent staff was getting paid this Thursday – a day Jessica was not scheduled to work. The following week the office would be closed.

Jessica expected a check in the mail over the weekend from Dr. Bean’s office. When It hadn’t arrived by Monday, she called the office to leave a message – hoping that someone would be checking the messages while the office was closed.

“Hello, this is Jessica. I understand the office is closed this week and that the pay period ended last week. I was just wondering when I might expect my paycheck. Will it be mailed to me?”

The temp agency called Jessica the next day, Tuesday.

“Hi. This is Keri from Temporary Professionals. We received a call from Heidi at Dr. Bean’s office who wanted me to pass along a message to you. Your paycheck is in the mail.”

Cliche’ yet appropriate, Jessica thought. However, as the days passed with no paycheck, the cliche’ seemed to prove true to its reputation of insincerity and dishonesty. There would be no point in leaving another message at the office so late in the week.

By Monday morning – now 10 days after the pay period ended – Jessica was worried about how long it might take to fix the problem or find the lost check. She sought out the office manager and stated her concern.

“Heidi, I never received my paycheck. I heard from the agency that you’d sent it out, but I never got it.”

“I sent it.”

“Do you know what address it was sent to? Perhaps it went to the wrong place,” Jessica inquired.

“Well,” Heidi said. “Kelly sent it out. She does payroll. I’ll have to call her. If it went to the wrong address, then we’ll see if Kelly can put a stop on the check and reissue one for you. I’ll give her a call this morning.”

“Thanks.”

Lunch was several hours later, and Heidi had not mentioned the paycheck issue to Jessica again. Just before going to lunch, Jessica approached Heidi a second time.

“Heidi, did you get a chance to speak with Kelly yet?”

“No. I’ll do that right now.”

Jessica expected to have news from Heidi when she came back from lunch, but Heidi was busy and didn’t report anything. Another hour passed, and Jessica noticed an employee list on the wall near the desk she was working from. Kelly’s name and cell number was on the list.

Doctor-Phone

“Hello, Kelly. This is Jessica, who has been doing some temporary work at Dr.Bean’s office. Heidi said she was going to call you about an issue with my paycheck, have you spoken with her today?”

“No. What’s going on?”

“I didn’t receive my paycheck from the last period. I was told last Monday that it had gone out in the mail, but I haven’t gotten it yet a week later.”

“I left your check in the outgoing mail on Friday, and I told Heidi it was there. I don’t know if she sent it out then or later. If it didn’t go out, then it still might be sitting there. Has the mail gone out today?”

The mail had been taken to the post office that morning. Jessica had minded the desk while Melanie left to get mail from last week.

“Oh, no! Is there a chance that it just went out today???” Jessica was disappointed to think that her paycheck may have slipped from her grasp. Maybe Heidi was not truthful in her statement the check is in the mail one week ago.

Kelly asked, “Is there anything else I can do for you?”

“I guess not. If it just went out today, then I won’t get it for a few more days yet. Ugh!”

Kelly offered a solution, “If you don’t get it by today, then we can reissue you another check tomorrow.”

Jessica began to feel as if the paycheck she worked hard to earn and deserved to have, was not sent when she was told it was. Why would she get the check today when it had not come everyday last week?

Why didn’t they call me that Thursday it was processed and give me the option to come pick it up? Jessica thought. She was aware of the law – Dr. Bean legally had 30 days to pay her. That would be fine had she not been told it was on it’s way to her.

As the minutes passed, Jessica was feeling more and more mistreated. And it wasn’t the first time. Just three months earlier this same scenario played out with a different temporary employer. That office had also claimed her check was in the mail, but each day that passed, and with each day it didn’t arrive, she felt more and more betrayed. Finally, when the legal 30 days was up, Jessica walked into the office to ask for her paycheck. Oh, the run around that occurred, and the passing of the buck she witnessed confirmed to her that they had no intention of paying her. Excuse and defensive excuse after another made it easy to see that she was being lied to. Was it happening again????

After a few more minutes of stewing over the situation, Jessica approached Dr. Bean in his office.

“Dr. Bean, may I talk to you about something?”

After his approval, Jessica continued.

“I didn’t get my paycheck.”

“What? Say that again?” Dr. Bean asked.

“I didn’t get my paycheck, and Heidi says it was sent, and she was going to talk with Kelly but she didn’t…”

He interrupted. “I know nothing about payroll. I don’t even know how to do payroll. You’ll have to talk with Kelly about that.”

“I did talk with Kelly, and no one seems to know where it is.”

“Well, I don’t have any solution for you. I don’t know anything about payroll. Do you have a solution? Why are you telling me this?”

“Dr. Bean, the solution I would suggest is to put a stop on the first check since we don’t know where it is and reissue a check for me.”

“I don’t know how to figure out payroll. I never write checks.”

“If I called Kelly and learned the amount the check was written for, would you write a new check? Do you have a checkbook here?” Jessica asked.

“Hold on. Let’s figure out what’s going on here.” He stormed out of the room, and Jessica assumed he’d be heading to Heidi. She was right.

A few minutes later, Heidi approached Jessica at the desk where she’d been working and said, “I need to use your desk so I can call Kelly.”

Mailbox

It was 5:00 now. Jessica used her cell phone to call home. “Please check the mail. Is there a check for me from Dr. Bean?”

“Yes. It’s post marked with Saturday’s date – just last Saturday.”

UGH! There was no way Jessica’s check would take one week to get to her mailbox if it had been mailed out when Heidi said it had been. Jessica felt lied to, and worse – she’d gotten the run-around because no one wanted to confess that they’d not been telling the truth! It appeared to Jessica that paying temporary employees was not a priority at this practice.

“I mailed it on Monday. I don’t know why it would take so long to get to you,” Heidi explained. “I would never lie to you, Jessica. I would not try to deceive you in any way. I didn’t mail it at the post office, though. I put it in an outgoing mailbox at Safeway. I guess I don’t know when their mail is picked up.”

“Heidi, it’s just not possible that it would take that long to get to me and contain a post mark from this past Saturday.” Jessica replied.

Jessica worked two more hours that day, finding it hard to do. She was thankful her check had been found, but she was still feeling upset that no one else associated with Dr. Bean saw reason for her to be upset about not being paid when she was told she would be.

Jessica had creditors who’d been calling her about monies owed them. Getting her paycheck was necessary to pay her overdue bills. She was experiencing a financial crunch, and waiting for her paycheck, then worrying that she may not get it for a few more days was very disheartening.

The next day, Heidi explained that she and Kelly had been offended by Jessica’s actions and attitude. Jessica was surprised to learn that THEY were offended. Didn’t they understand what SHE was feeling?

Heidi confessed that Jessica’s check was likely left in the outgoing mail at the office for the entire week the office was closed until Heidi had come into the office the Friday before, saw a pile of mail to go out, and took it to Safeway.

“I didn’t see your check in the pile of mail, but I can only assume it was in there. It probably went out five days after I told you it had.”

No apology came from Heidi. She simply said, “I would never lie to you. There would be no reason for us to hold your check.”


 

Are there lessons to be learned from Jessica’s story?

How did it make you feel?

Who is in the right?

Who is in the wrong?

What, if anything, should have been done differently?

All you Need is Love…in Leadership

Martin Luther King, Jr. is best known for his role in the advancement of civil rights using nonviolent civil disobedience based on his Christian beliefs. In other words, Dr. King fought what many viewed as hatred for certain people, by leading in the community with love and discipline.

On October 14, 1964, Dr. King was presented the Nobel Peace Prize for his ability to combat racial inequality in a non-violent way.

It is possible to lead in love. It is possible for love to change people’s hearts. It is possible to fight for the noblest of causes with love.

Below are some of Dr. King’s most inspiring and poignant words – spoken with a love for people, country, and the ideal of positive change in the human spirit.

62. Molder of consensus


63. Installment plan


64. Labor that uplifts


65. Progress


66. Decide to Wallk in the light


67. Faith


68. Spiritual Control

What has Dr. King taught you about leading with love? Is it possible? It is important?

How will LOVE influence your leadership from this point forward?

You will learn how to love your self and others by reading my book, SELF Centered Leadership: Becoming Influential, Intentional and Exceptional. It’s available on Amazon.

 

Platitudes of U.S. Presidents

Today is Presidents Day in the United States. With appreciation, I celebrate my admiration; renew my dedication; and strive to forget any aggravation, with the 42 men who’ve led this great, yet struggling nation.

Despite differences in viewpoints and policy, every President of the United States  has chosen to lead because of love for country. Therefore, I share with you the words they spoke as they led in love. I hope their words will inspire you to increase your love for leadership, and that you’ll love more those you lead.


George Washington 1789-1797
Happiness and moral duty are inseparably connected”

John Adams 1797 – 1801
“Let us tenderly and kindly cherish, therefore, the means of knowledge. Let us dare to read, think, speak, and write”

Thomas Jefferson 1801 – 1809
“In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock”

James Madison 1809 – 1817
“Philosophy is common sense with big words”

James Monroe 1817 – 1825
“A little flattery will support a man through great fatigue”


John Quincy Adams

John Quincy Adams 1825-1829
“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader”

Andrew Jackson 1829 – 1837
“Take time to deliberate; but when the time for action arrives, stop thinking and go in”

Martin Van Buren 1837 – 1841
“I cannot expect to perform the task with equal ability and success”

William Henry Harrison 1841 – 1841
“There is nothing more corrupting, nothing more destructive of the noblest and finest feelings of our nature, than the exercise of unlimited power”

John Tyler 1841 – 1845
“I can never consent to being dictated to”


Portrait Print of President James K. Polk after a Daguerrotype by Matthew Brady

James K. Polk 1845 – 1849
“No president who performs his duties faithfully and conscientiously can have any leisure”

Zachary Taylor 1849 – 1850
“I have always done my duty”

Millard Fillmore 1850 – 1853
“It is not strange…to mistake change for progress”

Franklin Pierce 1853 – 1857
“With the Union my best and dearest earthly hopes are entwined”

James Buchanan 1857 – 1861
“The test of leadership is not to put greatness into humanity, but to elicit it, for the greatness is already there”


Abraham Lincoln2

Abraham Lincoln 1861 – 1865
“Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power”

Andrew Johnson 1865 – 1869
“Honest conviction is my courage”

Ulysses S. Grant 1869 – 1877
“It is men who wait to be selected, and not those who seek, from whom we may expect the most efficient service”

Rutherford B. Hayes 1877 – 1881
“Must swear off from swearing. Bad habit”

James A. Garfield 1881 – 1881
“A pound of pluck is worth a ton of luck”


Chester A Arthur

Chester A. Arthur 1881 – 1885
“I may be president of the United States, but my private life is nobody’s damned business”

Grover Cleveland 1885 – 1889
“Someday I will be better remembered”

William McKinley 1889 – 1901
“That’s all a man can hope for during his lifetime – to set an example – and when he is dead, to be an inspiration for history”

Theodore Roosevelt 1901 – 1909
“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are”

William Howard Taft 1909 – 1913
“Enthusiasm for a cause sometimes warps judgement”


 

Woodrow Wilson

Woodrow Wilson 1913 – 1921
“Friendship is the only cement that will ever hold the world together”

Warren G. Harding 1921 – 1923
“I have no trouble with my enemies. I can take care of my enemies all right. But my damn friends…they’re the ones that keep me walking the floor nights!”

Calvin Coolidge 1923 – 1929
“No person was ever honored for what he received. Honor has been the reward for what he gave”

Herbert Hoover 1929 – 1933
“Words without actions are the assassins of idealism”

Franklin D. Roosevelt 1933 – 1945
“Happiness lies in the joy of achievement and the thrill of creative effort”


President Harry S. Truman

Harry S. Truman 1945 – 1953
“It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit”

Dwight D. Eisenhower 1953 – 1961
“Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it”

John F. Kennedy 1961 – 1963
“Efforts and courage are not enough without purpose and direction”

Lyndon B. Johnson 1963 – 1969
“The noblest search is the search for excellence”

Richard Nixon 1969 – 1974
“Always remember others may hate you, but those who hate you don’t win unless you hate them. And then you destroy yourself”


Gerald Ford

Gerald Ford 1974 – 1977
“I had a lot of experience with people smarter than I am”

Jimmy Carter 1977 – 1981
“We must adjust to changing times and still hold to unchanging principles”

Ronald Reagan 1981 – 1989
“Some people wonder all their lives if they’ve made a difference. The Marines don’t have that problem”

George H.W. Bush 1989 – 1993
“We must act on what we know. I take as my guide the hope of a saint: In crucial things, unity; in important things, diversity; in all things, generosity”

Bill Clinton 1993 – 2001
“Let us all take more responsibility, not only for ourselves and our families but for our communities and our country”

George W. Bush 2001-2009
“We will not tire, we will not falter, and we will not fail”


Barak Obama

Barack Obama 2009 –
“Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change we seek”

Which quote is your favorite? Which president was/is your favorite? How will you improve your leadership?

If you’d like to be an exceptional leader, I invite you to read my book, SELF Centered Leadership: Becoming Influential, Intentional, and Exceptional now available on Amazon.

 

 

Leadership: Your Potential to Empower

Carly Fiorina, former 2016 Republican Candidate for President of the United States

Carly Fiorina

As with any one of the 2016 Republican or Democratic candidates for President, you either feel Carly Fiorina is qualified to lead the country, or not. The Republican field was wide this election season, with around 17 candidates to choose from. Some of the candidates we are familiar with, while some we had not heard of before he/she took the political stage.

This post is not meant to be an endorsement for, nor an opinion against Carly Fiorina. I write this today to simply focus on some aspects of leadership I believe Carly and I agree on.

When announcing the end of her run for President yesterday, February 10, 2016, Carly Fiorina said the following. (It can be found verbatim at her website CarlyForPresident.com)


 

This campaign was always about citizenship—taking back our country from a political class that only serves the big, the powerful, the wealthy, and the well connected. Election after election, the same empty promises are made and the same poll-tested stump speeches are given, but nothing changes. I’ve said throughout this campaign that I will not sit down and be quiet. I’m not going to start now. While I suspend my candidacy today, I will continue to travel this country and fight for those Americans who refuse to settle for the way things are and a status quo that no longer works for them.

Our Republican Party must fight alongside these Americans as well. We must end crony capitalism by fighting the policies that allow it to flourish. We must fix our festering problems by holding our bloated, inept government bureaucracy accountable. Republicans must stand for conservative principles that lift people up and recognize all Americans have the right to fulfill their God-given potential.

To young girls and women across the country, I say: do not let others define you. Do not listen to anyone who says you have to vote a certain way or for a certain candidate because you’re a woman. That is not feminism. Feminism doesn’t shut down conversations or threaten women. It is not about ideology. It is not a weapon to wield against your political opponent. A feminist is a woman who lives the life she chooses and uses all her God-given gifts. And always remember that a leader is not born, but made. Choose leadership.

As I have said to the many wonderful Americans I have met throughout this campaign, a leader is a servant whose highest calling is to unlock potential in others. I will continue to serve in order to restore citizen government to this great nation so that together we may fulfill our potential.


In four paragraphs I find some exquisite gems of leadership by Carly. It is her ideas I write about today.

“…a leader is not born, but made. Choose leadership”

We all come to earth in the same way. It does not matter where we are born, what time in history, or how our mother ranked on the social scale. From the moment of birth, we all have to develop the ability to walk, talk, and overcome the fear of pain and failure.

It is through our common experiences on the same planet that our ability to lead will be developed. Leadership is a small seed in each of us. However, at some point we will choose to lead or not. In other words, we influence (or lead) others every day of our life. People watch us, learn from us, and sometimes imitate us even if we don’t know it.

Choosing leadership, as Carly suggests, means to use the influence, abilities, and experiences we’ve had to add to the influence, abilities and experiences of someone else.

“…a leader is a servant whose highest calling is to unlock potential in others”

Until you decide that life is NOT about you, then you will never be truly happy. Life is about empowering those you love to be whom they have the potential to be.

Parenting is the most perfect example of true leadership. Parenting involves sacrificing your own needs for the needs (and usually the wants) of your children. Even if you don’t have children, you can recall the example of sacrifice from your own parents, or from people in your life who shaped the good parts of who you are. Exceptional leaders have that kind of influence over their fellow human beings.

Leadership, as Carly mentions, is the act of identifying the potential in someone else, helping them see it, and then teaching them ways to empower their future through the best choices. Leadership is not about gaining followers so you can be lifted higher in status. True leadership is serving others in a way that helps them see their own value and purpose. Those who lead best are those who love to serve.

61. Servant leadership

“A feminist is a woman who lives the life she chooses and uses all her God-given gifts”

I completely agree with Carly in her idea that women should never be made to feel less than they are, especially by other women. When women are told that they will happier and more successful in life by destroying the potential of someone weaker or more vulnerable than herself, she is undermining her true happiness in every way. The same goes for men.

Women and men should seek to develop relationships founded in love and friendship. Let’s work to develop deeper, long lasting ties with people, than just casual moments of pleasure and fun. If we do, our lives will be much more fulfilling, and we’ll have fewer regrets.

Carly Fiorina may have made a great President, or not. We may never know. However, I can see by her behavior, her experience, and her ability to fight for what is good and right, that she is, has been, and will continue to be, a great leader.

You likely remember the exchange she had with another candidate, Donald Trump, after he insulted her looks:

CarlyFiorina2

I implore you to explore your leadership. Are you influencing for good the lives of others, or are you focused on getting ahead? I have written a book which defines what exceptional leadership is. I invite you to read it. I’m confident it will help you develop the most important traits of leadership.

Slide ad for book

Buy it on Amazon today!

Tell me what you think of leadership. Do you agree with me and Carly?

What if You’re C.) “All of the Above”?

*WARNING: The following post contains a rant. The writer is subject to:

A.) Fly off the handle

B.) Break down in tears

C.) Crawl under a rock

D.) Be prepared for whatever LIES ahead.

I rarely rant (okay, my husband and children would say otherwise) Yet, today I have stewed about a particular situation all last weekend, and it’s time to let it out! WHAAAA!

I am embarrassed to say that I’m looking for a job. I have owned my own business (Emerald City Consulting) for 8 years. It has been profitable at times, and not so profitable at other times. It takes money to advertise in the never ending fragmented ways that exist in today’s ever changing marketplace, and my marketing budget is non-existent. Therefore, since August I have been actively seeking employment.

In the course of my 35 year career, I have accumulated vast and varied skills. Rather than be viewed as well-rounded, I think it’s probably working against me in the hunt for a job. It’s like taking a true/false test, when I have a multiple choice background.

“Yes, I can do all of the above”. Therefore, my search for a job has been vast and varied. I have experience in many areas, rather than 35 years building on just one skill.

For this reason, I don’t remember exactly what the ad on www.Indeed.com said that caused me to apply for a particular job last week. There were likely a multitude of ways I “fit the bill”.  I was happy to receive an email last week from Catherine Smith in HR at Dynamic Concepts, Inc. She was requesting an interview with me. In 10 weeks of submitting over 100 resumes, this would be merely my second actual interview. (Perhaps I should have been suspicious).

Even though I had no memory of placing the application, nor did I remember the job description, I took the opportunity to look at the website for Dynamic Concepts, Inc. Here are a few screen shots from their website.

What would YOU believe Dynamic Concepts, Inc. to be known for?

My interpretation was thus:

They are a company who works with clients to increase the client’s branding and marketing efforts.

It sounded to me as though they had a unique approach to helping their clients manage and market their businesses. I was ALL ABOUT these ideas, and I was excited for an interview. Furthermore, their website touted the following (I’ve bolded the words/phrases that appealed to my skills and abilities):

  1. Success in unprecedented growth for the clients we work with by following a couple of core principles. Targeted outreach programs place branding specialists in front of an ideal buying audience to produce rapid returns. An emphasis on team building allows for the highest standard of service to be duplicated into new markets at an accelerated rate.
  2. The standard of excellence we provide has allowed us the opportunity to partner with nationally recognized name brands. As such, we are committed to maintaining the highest levels of professionalism because we know that we are not only representing ourselves, but the top-notch clients that put their faith in us.
  3. We are continually able to reach new markets and demographics with the help of our global network. Our clients know that we are not alone when marketing their brand. A solid network of marketing executives enables us to become fast and efficient problem-solvers. We can respond immediately should any situation arise.
  4. The most significant factor in our success is the experience of the consumer. We are diligent about following up spectacular campaigns with exceptional support and customer service. Our approach is convenient and cost-effective for the consumer, allowing them more freedom with their time and money without sacrificing on quality.

The Dynamic Concepts, Inc. website was done very well. Large amounts of money had been spent on its engaging and motivating content and layout. I looked forward to my interview in Renton – a few miles from where I live!

A few minutes before my scheduled interview time last Friday, I pulled into an industrial park. Industrial park? The first clue that Dynamic Concepts, Inc. may not meet my expectations.

I found building 10. Amid a sea of doors, I saw one labeled “Dynamic Concepts, Inc.”

Upon entering the door, I came face to face with a young man sitting at a desk. He looked like an adolescent trying to look like an adult. He was wearing a bow tie and a suit jacket that was at least three sizes too big.  It reminded me of this scene in the movie, Beetlejuice:

Okay, he was a nice enough looking young man, but this picture illustrates the thought that came to mind because of his over-sized clothing.

I was feeling uneasy, but took the one-page application form he offered and filled it out. Then, an adolescent-looking girl asked me to follow her into a small, poorly decorated office. She explained that this was a short “get to know you” meeting.

She asked what had drawn me to their ad.

“I actually don’t remember the ad, but I am drawn to some words and phrases on your website – mentoring, management, marketing, and client support”, I replied.

She asked, “What two words describe you?”

“Professionalism and eloquence” I said. (Yeah, corny. Whatever)

She began to describe Dynamic Concepts, Inc. as a company that uses event marketing to support their clients. “Clients”, she said “like Kroger, Costco and gas stations.”

She then showed me a picture of “what our members do”. It was a picture of three young people wearing orange safety jackets standing under a portable pop-up tent behind a table with spray-paint-can-like objects on the table.

“Where are they?” I asked.

“This is at a Kroger store. Right now, we are new to Washington, so we have two products we feature – a car wax and windshield repair. But the company has over 75 products.”

I’m trying to wrap my brain around what I’m hearing. I point to the picture. “Are these Kroger products?”

“No, these are our products, but Kroger, who is our client, partners with us.”

My stomach is getting queasy, and I realize I’ve been duped. This is nothing more than a sales position. A freaking position selling car wax under a tent in the parking lot of major retailers. Retailers who rent their space to Dynamic Concepts, Inc., who call the retailers CLIENTS.

By this definition, my landlord is my client because he lets me use his home to live in. WTH???? (“Honey, did you send a check to our “client” this month to pay our rent?”)

My choice: D.) NONE OF THE ABOVE!

Holy Crap! This company went to a lot of trouble to lie about what they do, so that they could get stupid people to apply for a stupid sales job, who would then be taught how to manage and lie to more stupid people about how to sell stupid products for “clients” who are anything but clients!

On my way home, I began to realize that they saw my resume, and thought I was stupid enough to be taken in by their masquerade. What does that say about me? I’ve struggled with this all weekend, and my ego is bruised badly. I am both angry that there are people out there making money off of lies and dishonest methods, and sad that I was viewed as someone who could be taken in by people making money off of lies and dishonest methods.

My job search has been essentially unproductive, and I’m not sure what to do next. I’ve never considered myself unskilled, but I’m sure beginning to feel that way. Perhaps it’s this way for everyone. I mean, I haven’t looked for a job for more than 10 years. Is this what it’s come to? Lies, dishonesty?

Or, am I simply going about it the wrong way? I have NEVER had trouble finding a job in the previous twenty years of my career. Yet, I am so much more experienced now. I have accomplished amazing feats. I have run a business, and directed a non-profit successfully. But I am under-valued by potential employers.

It seems that when it comes to true/false job searches – false is okay. People make lots of money being false.

It seems that in multiple choice job searches, A or B are appropriate answers, but never apply if your answer is C.) All of the above or D.) None of the above.

Therefore, I have written a 1000 word essay about my job search. Will it help? Will it matter? Heck, I don’t know. I just don’t want to be duped again.

Anyone out there want to hire an “ALL OF THE ABOVE”?

 

 

Spoons Should Be Outlawed and Other Crazy Ideas

I’ve been writing this leadership blog for several years. Today’s post is personal. It may sound political. It may sound religious. It may even sound judgmental. No matter how you interpret it, this post is MY opinion and I own it! At it’s core, it is about leadership. I invite you to weigh in whether you agree or disagree.

In the wake of another mass shooting at a school, there are many questions being asked. The leader of our nation, President Obama gave his personal opinion shortly after the tragedy at UCC in Roseburg Oregon last week. In listening to his message, I witnessed a “leader” who displayed traits that disqualify him as such.

President Obama didn’t put ANY responsibility on the young man who cowardly shot a dozen or more unarmed individuals, and killed 9 of them. Instead, he used the power of his office to blame society – a society he has had direct influence over for more than seven years. A society that has become more divided than it was when he took office seven years ago.

Mr. Obama took opportunity to blame his team members in congress (yes, Mr. President we are all on the same team even though you refuse to acknowledge that) He blamed guns. He blamed inanimate objects for the murder of human beings. How does that even make sense? Do automobiles cause car accidents? Do spoons make people fat? Are sidewalks the cause of childhood scrapes?

I’d like to see Mr. Obama, (or anyone else) file a lawsuit against a gun, a car, a spoon, or a sidewalk. As ridiculous as it sounds – his remarks, blame, and shift of responsibility are just as ridiculous. True, exceptional leaders don’t blame their team, and they don’t pass judgment prematurely.

The President tends to put blame on anyone else but the actual person whose actions inspired the outcome. Take a moment to recall Treyvon Martin, Michael Brown, and Freddy Gray. Precious lives lost due to their own choices. They put themselves in a position where their life was threatened because of their own actions – not the actions of police officers or other people. We don’t yet know the outcome of the Freddy Gray case, but he was a known drug dealer, and therefore his choices long ago took him down a road that led to his final destination.

Despite the facts, President Obama has been responsible for influencing people (through his poor leadership and message) to divide our nation rather than unite us. HE has made the aforementioned cases about race, instead of about criminals clashing with police or citizens, resulting in unfortunate deaths.

With a severe lack of respect for police officers and those in authority in our nation, there are people on the fringe of society who will use that situation to justify their own evil. School shooters are that kind of evil. True leaders have to stand against evil and NEVER justify it.

True, exceptional leaders enjoy helping others empower their lives. They act to help individuals see their strengths, and encourage them to overcome weakness. Great leaders are grateful and show appreciation for the people who protect those who can’t protect themselves.

Here is how my philosophy differs from what I believe Mr. Obama’s philosophy seems to be.

My belief:

Humans are born as innocent children. These children learn quickly how to manipulate, cheat, and deceive. Seriously, the first truth a newborn learns is – “if I cry, I will be fed”.

You can see how we quickly learn to manipulate and influence the actions of others. We enjoy this manipulation and, generally speaking, if there was no discipline for breaking rules, we would all likely enjoy breaking them.

Rules however are necessary to a civil society.

As we grow, we learn that good choices will bring good consequences; while bad choices will bring unhappy consequences. (Touching a hot stove, for instance) This helps us learn that PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY is the key to our happiness – not anyone else. That knowledge helps us WANT to be good and we make choices accordingly.

My belief: Good choice = good consequence = personal empowerment

Obama’s belief (based on what he’s said and done):

Humans are born as innocent children. Everyone is good, and government knows how to care for everyone. Mr Obama thinks that government makes better teachers, managers, and parents. He seems to believe that rules are restrictions to who we are, and that if “I want it” then “I should have it”.

Our president believes that when someone makes a bad choice it is an indication that society failed this person. (In Obama’s belief system touching a hot stove would lead to a lawsuit against the stove company, which would then require all stoves to be locked until dinner, at which time children would not legally be allowed in the kitchen)

Mr. Obama believes society is to blame for hatred, poverty, and crime. He believes that if government legislates the way we speak to, speak of, and treat each other that we will all be equal, that it will all be fair, and that there will be no hatred, poverty or crime. In reality, this philosophy does exactly the opposite. Government takes away any reason to be good on our own, and therefore punishes ALL of us when ONE of us does something bad.

Obama’s belief: Bad choice = bad society = government empowerment

With that groundwork laid, please read why I believe these mass school shootings keep happening and how it relates to bad leadership which has influenced individuals in our society.

There are evil people who act in evil ways. When people don’t care about right or wrong, then wrong choices are right. When government is responsible for teaching what is right and wrong – based on the philosophy above – then evil people with evil intentions do evil acts. On the other hand, when morality is based on religious philosophy such as The Ten Commandments, people are empowered to govern themselves correctly.

Years ago government began changing the moral compass of our nation. We began to take a path toward political correctness instead of moral correctness. Schools were no longer allowed to use the word God. Then, we could no longer pray at school assemblies and sporting events. Teachers were instructed to stop teaching virtues such as humility, integrity, accountability, and faith. Children don’t even pledge allegiance to the flag of the nation who gives them the very freedoms they no longer see as important.

We’re at a point today where a 12 year-old girl can’t be given an aspirin by the school nurse without a parent’s permission, but the same girl CAN be taken to an abortion clinic without parental permission. RIDICULOUS!

And while we’re talking about morals – what does legal abortion teach our children? (Let’s face it, Planned Parenthood IS NOT an organization that has any interest in empowering women. They MAKE MONEY from abortions. Why would they ever suggest a different solution to a woman faced with a difficult choice?)

Abortion is violence. Unwanted pregnancy? Destroy the “problem”. Kill a fetus so YOU can be rid of something you don’t want. Planned Parenthood teaches that an unwanted pregnancy is an enemy to happiness and an inconvenience. Once it’s gone, all will be well – you’ll have a better life. TAKE A LIFE TO HAVE THE LIFE YOU WANT.

Currently, our government FUNDS this organization, which is under investigation for selling human body parts. This is a travesty, Our leader, Mr. Obama has praised this organization – even saying “Thank God for Planned Parenthood”. Thank GOD? Are you serious? God has NOTHING to do with Planned Parenthood, and neither should our government. Bad leadership run amok!

Is it any wonder why young men who are on the fringe of society, and who have few friends, and who feel that society has in some way wronged them, choose to destroy other human beings that belong to that society? They have been taught that violence is the answer. TAKE A LIFE TO HAVE THE LIFE YOU WANT. A woman has the right to choose murder – why shouldn’t a man?

Mass shooters want to win. To them, that means “take as many people with you on the way out”. This is how they go from being unknown and faceless one day, to becoming famous the next. Violence and murder give them the life they want. And when our leader will blame their act on the inanimate object they used to commit the crime, instead of calling attention to the evil, cowardly person they were, that’s icing on the cake! Their legacy will leave a country more and more divided.

Then the president goes on television to blame society for one man’s heinous act. Not one mention is given to the brave men and women of law enforcement who brought the carnage to a halt. Why would he give them credit? Police officers are all part of the bad society that creates more bad people because of their brutality. That is the mindset of our president.

Should there be more stringent gun regulation?

In my opinion, there should be more responsible gun owners. In almost every case of a school mass shooting, the ONLY reason the evil cowards were stopped was because the police showed up with guns. It took a few good guys armed with legal weapons to stop evil people from killing more.

Gun-free zones are exactly the places where the evil cowards will go for their violent and murderous acts because they will encounter NO resistance. The students in schools are sitting ducks. There would be fewer mass shootings in schools if there were more guns in schools. I’m not suggesting that students are armed, but security guards should be, and there should be more security guards.

The next time President Obama sings his song of more gun regulation, I suggest someone ask him to take the guns from the security detail that protects him daily. Perhaps he’d then see what it’s like to live in the inner city of Chicago – his hometown – where gun laws are VERY strict yet the criminals have them – which accounts for the 2,322 gun deaths since January in Chicago. Innocent people cannot defend themselves. They are sitting ducks in a supposed “gun-free city”.

At its core, government is corrupt. The 2nd Amendment was put in place because of the fear of corrupt government. An armed citizenry would be able to protect themselves from a corrupt government.

There is no value system in our nation. Political correctness has all but removed the ability to teach values. Then we have young people who decide killing is the way to make a statement. We are to blame for electing leaders of our government who protect the rights of extremists who say, “Death to America and Israel” but ruin the livelihood of a baker who didn’t want to support a gay wedding. It’s insane!

And we wonder why this keeps happening? When you’ve been taught by teachers and government leaders that there is no God, no reason to be good for a better purpose, then why be good? Killing others will be your glory, not loving and serving others.

I would encourage you to consider who you’ve voted for in the last several elections. Have they brought a moral compass to our nation or have they deleted any moral compass we’ve ever had? Are they leading with true, exceptional principles, or are they found lacking those traits. Do our leaders unite people, or divide them? Do our leaders shift blame, and preach that ANYTHING is okay as long as it leads to the outcome they want?

My message may sound political. It may sound religious. It may even sound judgmental. No matter how you interpret it, this post is MY opinion and I own it! True leadership is important….no, it’s vital! YOU can make a difference. YOUR choices in the next election will matter. True leaders will engage in the process rather than try to politicize their agenda.

I invite you to weigh in whether you agree or disagree. Remember to communicate politely and with kindness.

“Shades” of Communication and How to Be Authentic

I’m a youth pastor. Recently, I was teaching a group of girls about communication. We were also decorating sunglasses with paint, glitter, nail polish and ribbons. I asked them, “How does communication relate to sunglasses?”

One young woman replied, “If I’m wearing sunglasses, people may not feel like talking to me.”

I began to tell a personal experience I’d had with sunglasses…and a few other props.

Please take a moment to watch this video titled SUNGLASSES AND COMMUNICATION

This is a picture of my “Where in the Mall is Your Mother?” disguise…

The lessons learned from my personal experience are four-fold. In other words, Four Shades of Communication:

  1. Be sure of your message. What are you trying to say?
  2. Dress in such a way that your appearance is congruent to your message.
  3. Act in such a way that your message will not be misunderstood or in any way undermined.
  4. Communicate your message clearly. Speak in a manner that makes people want to hear your message

We HAVE to communicate. Make sure you’re being authentic when you do so!

By the way, here’s a picture showing the results of our decorated sunglasses…

If you’d like to up your communication and leadership game, be sure to register for, and attend my 2015 Fall Leadership Laboratory on September 26, 2015. You can find the details in the image below AND by going to my website to register. EMERALD CITY CONSULTING